| (no subject) |
[041407||01:09PM] |
| [ | Listening to |
| | one more night by apostle of hustle | ] |
I was distracted by nothing in particular, and suddenly noticed that the margarine on my pancakes has congealed. It took every ounce of effort to go downstairs and makes those pancakes.
I've been feeling very homely lately. Not quite homesick though. I miss my parents. I miss friends from home, including the ones who live here in Ottawa. I think it's stress. It's making my body go crazy. I made a "comfort" playlist on my iPod. I think it's helping.
Everytime you walk outside, there's a big or slim chance of getting hurt/dying/having somthing good happen. To what extent can a person be paranoid or oblivious? I'm not trying to be weird... I've just been thinking.
Do You Trust Your Friends? by Stars. It's a better version of first year. Please listen to that album. |
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| SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT. |
[032807||11:55AM] |
| [ | Listening to |
| | john mayer. thats right, i'm that crazy. | ] |
I'm not going to complain about the large pile of garbage and recycling sitting everywhere in the house. It doesn't even bother me that there's paper and cardboard from two months ago. Not at all. It's okay if one of the housemate is a total bitch, and I don't like her at all. Hopefully, I'll never have to see her again. I wake up at normal hours (because I'm somewhat productive with my time), so I don't mind that I have no spoons and quasi-clean counter space the size of a piece of paper to make breakfast. I'd really like to wash my dishes, but I'll do the stack of dishes sitting in the sink and around the kitchen first. Oh, while I'm at it, I'll clean the counters as well. I remember a few months ago, I cleaned the fridge and threw out rotting food. I also remember that was the last time that ever happened. The empty cans and bottles sitting everywhere are pretty to look at too. Really lovely decoration. What did you do the night before? Oh, that's right, nothing. I think I'll skip out on my week of chores as well. I'm busy. I'm stressed. I'm losing my mind. Hahahaha. Lolz.
Approximately two more months. Sixty days. The longest period of time, ever. |
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| (no subject) |
[031107||03:34PM] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my bedroom | ] |
| [ | Listening to |
| | sent (awake the kraken) by the acorn | ] |
The house is awkward. Nobody's home or everybody's home. |
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| (no subject) |
[022507||11:35AM] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bridgehead | ] |
| [ | Listening to |
| | most serene republic | ] |
Well, here I go again. Don't worry, I'm okay. I've just been thinking.
Having a job pays the means of living. Living is required to be able to work. In a country that is supposed to be prosperous (or whatever they want to call it) and a higher standard of living, why are there old ladies standing out in the freezing cold handing out newsletters to people who could care less? No wonder why there are so many problems. I watched a documentary on the A&E about crystal meth being a problem in the state of Missouri. If a state was so incredibly problem ridden with drugs, that a documentary had to be made about it, why isn't the state doing anything about it? Maybe the governor's on drugs as well. Rather than worrying about problems in other countries, deal with your own problems first. Major aspects of the economy are dependent on other countries, however the successes and inflations of the economy will only profit a small minority, who unfortunately own the majority of the country.
Whenever I walk along the canal, I always see tiny little kids trying to or learning how to skate, and it's the cutest thing ever especially when they have 20 layers of clothing on with a huge poufy coat.
MOST SERENE REPUBLIC with THE JUNCTION ON MARCH 9TH AT ZAPHODS!
CONSTANTINES ON MARCH 28TH AT BARRYMORES!
BE THERE TO BE COOL! |
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| (no subject) |
[020607||04:47PM] |
People are weird creatures. Every house that is driven by holds people with lives that is so different from everyone else. I really want to know who these people are. There's this one man who sleeps on a bench outside a lecture hall in a building on campus. That wouldn't be too weird except he has an alarm clock with him. What did he do before sleeping there? What is his clock set for? What are all of the bored-looking people sitting in class thinking about? What are they doing after class? I hope they're happy with whatever they do. I hope they aren't sad or angry with themselves and the world.
I've always had a tough time accepting compliments. It even feels weird to say that. Maybe it's because I have a difficult time believing what people say. My faith in people is unstable.
We watched The Corporation in one of my classes, and it made me wonder how cynical and pessimistic people can be. Maybe the corporation is a "psychopath". But maybe it isn't? We are never able to find middle ground for anything. One aspect of this will affect an aspect in that. Without one, the other may not occur. I think in that case, we might have a problem.
I was on the bus one night when some guy threw up on the bus. He sat there in his gangster clothes and stared off into space high as a kite on everything. After a bucket's worth of vomit, he continued to stare off with no emotion whatsoever. He got up and got off the bus at the next stop. I felt sorry for him because he didn't know what was going on. I felt incredibly sorry for him because he needed to get himself to that state. Maybe he doesn't have any friends. |
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| OVERREACTMENT! |
[112006||10:45PM] |
| [ | Listening to |
| | bloc party | ] |
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY.I dontknow!!IDONTKNOW!Why the hell is everything so painful?It's like taking the first sip of coffee while walking, and accidentally burning the roof of your mouth. Or maybe frying something and getting one splatter of oil on your forearm. It's tiny, but it's excrutiating. WHY CANT IT JUST SNOW? I'm sick of this weather. Why does it seem like we have so much to do? Do we really have that much to do? We're all so stressed and incredibly tensed about everything, but what is this all for? A degree? What are you going to do with this degree? How many people with degrees are working mediocre jobs? We sit in front of Microsoft Word for 48 hours, and think, "FUCK YOU MICROSOFT WORD AND course XXX ####X!" We sit in front of the computer with an internet connection that takes 50 years to load up a list of articles from a database, only to find that it's not available online, or at Morisset, or it's been annexed to some foreign library in the city, and we won't get that source in time for the paper. We type and we type, and then we go on facebook, and spend half our lives there. Remember when facebook used to only be avaliable to university kids? Didn't that make you feel more privileged? Now every scum on the face of the earth can have facebook. Oh, if you don't want people to "disturb" you, then get off MSN. STOP COMPLAINING! In one of my classes, my prof wanted to show us a clip from youtube, but he was having trouble with it, so everyone started obnoxiously yelling instructions at him, and my bestest friend in the world (SARCASM-HAHAHAHA) yells, "WHY DONT YOU LET IT LOAD, AND CONTINUE ON WITH THE LECTURE?" I felt so sad for him when a slight wave of dejection washes over him, and his confidence level goes below zero. AND WHEN HAS A UNIVERSITY ESSAY NEVER BEEN WORD PROCESSED IN TIMES NEW ROMAN? The vowel "u". Let's talk about the vowel "u". A vowel shouldn't be next to each other right? For instance, it's "an orange" and not "a orange." So why is it not "an university, but it's "an umbrella?" Does that make sense? What's the reasoning behind all of this? Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Everything I type gets deleted because I don't like what I've written. Why am I taking journalism then? I don't want to be a journalist. I don't want to write. I'm sick of deadlines. I just want coffee. But I don't want to work at Starbucks forever. What a scary thought. FUCK YOU! TOMORROW. Join me at the intersection of Rideau/King Edward. I hear it's busy at about 5PM.
I'll give you some gin. |
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| (no subject) |
[100706||09:09PM] |
| [ | Listening to |
| | heartbeats by the knife | ] |
moods are stupid.
i was having a great day today. i got to sleep in. i had breakfast (AND lunch) made for me. i was on time for work. patrick and i somehow managed to have our breaks together during work. work was a little disorganized, but manageable.
... then customers become assholes and think that they own the world. i forget my ipod at work. i drop my cellphone and it bounces underneath a dark porch. i run to catch a bus carrying a huge bag, and the bus driver sneers at me and says, "i hate it when people don't have their bus passes ready. what if there was a big line behind you?" i apologize, and he doesn't say anything. i'm obviously going to pay if i got in the bus. thanks, you selfish bastard, for completely ruining my good day. |
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| (no subject) |
[091406||07:23PM] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | starbucks | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  I NEED TO PEE | ] |
| [ | Listening to |
| | jimmy eat world | ] |
School, future, and everything else afterwards.
I had a quarter-life crisis when I was in my public relations class and realized that I didn't want to do all of this schooling, let alone stay in my program. When other people say that, I think that they should suck it up and get on with their lives and that they're overreacting. However, I've never really experienced feeling until now. It's scary to be very unsure of your future. I think I had a mental breakdown of some sort as I panicked and contemplated about what I should do. I then proceeded to have a very shitty day. I must say that reading Charles Bukowski didn't help me out much either. I just felt like drinking, chain-smoking, typing poems about cats and maybe attending the race track.
I think life's okay now anyways. |
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